|hello, mad women.
||[Nov. 30th, 2007|05:43 pm]
WOMEN & MADNESS
|||||La vie est belle :// Aqme||]|
favorite female writers/poets with themes of madness? sylvia plath, virginia woolf, francesca lia block, marya hornbacher, emily dickinson, anne sexton...
favorite books on madness? The Bell Jar, Wasted, Mrs. Dalloway, so very many poems.
favorite films which document or hint at "women & madness"? The Hours; Girl, Interrupted; The Virgin Suicides
favorite quote, or line from one of the authors/poets/books/film stated above? Oh I cannot choose just one, let me share just a few...
I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.
To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is the bad dream. -- The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
"She felt very young; at the same time unspeakably aged. She sliced like a knife through everything; at the same time was outside, looking on... far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day." --Mrs Dalloway, Virginia Woolf
“My heart is a teacup with hairline cracks. I feel like I have to walk real carefully so it won't get shaken and just all shatter and break.” -- Missing Angel Juan, Francesca Lia Block
“It's not that I literally think I'm a faerie. It's just that I feel so different from most people. And this idea of a race living underground in caverns, spending all their days dancing and playing the fiddle and eating flowers and reciting poetry and sharing their dreams, that to me sounds much more real than the way people live in this world, hating and fighting and wanting and hurting.” ... “That was when I cut my arms with a razor blade as a means of creative expression. I only did it lightly, just grazing the skin, to see the way the blood would bleed out, to make myself look tougher. Not like some of those kids who keep going deeper and deeper, wondering what they look like down to the bone, because it's a world that's so close and yet so far and so dangerous and so much their own. The only world that is their own.” ... “This was not a faerie tale. This was not the movies. This was life. It hurt more. It was excruciating. It was excruciatingly beautiful.”-- Violet and Claire, Francesca Lia Block
Oh dear, I'm sorry loves, I just have so many words that touch me, I'm done now.
do you have personal experiences which have been touched on in this community? yes, yes I do. I was diagnosed with bulimia with anorexic tendencies a few years ago, though I have now recovered, mostly. I've also been diagnosed with depression, which I am doing oh so much better with, but it is still always a struggle. I have been in a mental hospital twice...and I must say it is one of the most...open...places to write. Everything seems to cease, it is all white-washed, it leaves just the raw humanity to observe, contemplate, and write about. Writing and reading...words in general, have been what has kept me going, and at times brought me back. I have been to the edge, yet not quite let go...or maybe I did let go, but had nowhere to go. Such extremes of the mind and soul, they hurt and they seem to be the edges of existence, but I am glad I have been there, seen such things, seen the deepest parts of myself, what my mind and soul can do if I do not guide them. I am an English major, I hope someday to share my words with others, and my madness, past and just pulsing presently, has given such depths to the ink on paper. So I like to believe.
It is so lovely to meet all of you, I do find mad women artists to be some of the most inspiring...and I can feel so much of it. I do love new friends, if anyone would like to be friends, though my journal is mostly my struggles with recovery.
I hope you are having a beautiful day, or perhaps just a day, a day that will be remembered.